Geography of Fuckburg

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The Continent

Fuckburg is the only landmass remaining on the planet after the Shadestorm. It is unknown what exactly has happened to the other continents remembered now by only a few left untouched by the mass amnesia, just as it is unknown whether these realms can be returned.

Fuckburg spans roughly 5 and a half million square miles and contains several varied and unique biomes. The continent can be divided geologically, ecologically, and culturally into five major regions:

The Interior

The interior of the continent is dominated by the Dust, trackless expanse of desert home to roving gangs of bandits and strange monsters. This sea of sand lies between the two mountain ranges that divide Fuckburg's southwest and northeast regions. West of the Dust lies the Kingdom of Stone.

The capital of the Kingdom of Stone, the city of Petra, is built out of a massive pillar of stone in the center of a deep basin, making it nearly impossible to invade. From the limited time the Focussed Group spent there, they encountered a sizable population of dwarves in the city, perhaps descendants of the architects and stonemasons who built the city in the forgotten pre-Imperial past; whether or not the party's resident dwarf, Pappy the Troll, is from the region is unknown, as if most of his life story.

The imposing interior desert known as the Dust is notable for being the meeting spot of the Focussed Group, specifically a small outpost called Dust's Edge. Not much else is known about the Dust save the high number of hyenas that live there and apparently love to attack level 1 adventurers.

The Western Reaches

Arguably the most wild of all the imperial provinces, the realms encompassing Western Fuckburg are well-known for their natural splendor and verdant beauty. The western reaches are dominated by the Central Wildlands, an expanse of ungoverned, temperate wilderness serving as home for the Focus Group. To the north lies a vast redwood forest, fed by the cool northern currents off the Emerald Coast.

The largest city in Western Fuckburg is Arbor, capital of the Kingdom of Wood and former seat of the unnamed royal family Mara once belonged to. Before the imperial takeover, Arbor was a prosperous city, falling into total disarray after the King of Texas invaded and slaughtered the royal family. As of Year 15 Arbor is arranged pyramidically, with the most impoverished homes making up the base, gradually becoming wealthier as one travels upwards. The death of the King of Texas did not rid the city of its troubles, as Santa Claws established a presence in the winter months after the Focussed Group's first mission to the kingdom.

A large population of goblins and elves live in Western Fuckburg, mostly in the Goblinlands and the Kingdom of Wood, respectively. The disparate peoples of the vast region nevertheless share various cultural norms and practices; for example, Mara and Furn, two Westerners, share a knowledge and love of swamp cakes, a delicacy in the forests and swamps of Fuckburg. These cultural similarities have not spared the residents of the Goblinlands from the exploits of adventurers, as explained by a party at the tavern in Ice Hole.

The Eastern Mountains

The mountainous areas east of the Dust have yet to be fleshed out. However, it can be assumed such regions are rocky, rugged centers of metallurgy and smithing. The Kingdom of Fire is assumed to be volcanic.

The Southern Coast

The southern reaches of Fuckburg are considerably less verdant than the western forests due to their proximity to the Dust yet still have much to offer in terms of rich culture and history.

The Kingdom of Knowledge was observed to consist mainly of open grassland and savannah. Despite this, the realm was mostly uninhabited save for a few small villages, such as Ice Hole, and the city of Noctis, sealed behind Megamind's illusion magic. After the illusion was broken, the automatons of Noctis began traveling outside the city, encountering the people who lived in the Kingdom of Knowledge's periphery and introducing them to the myriad technological innovations they had developed, such as automobiles and blue lettuce and tomato.

Similarly to its northern neighbor, the Kingdom of Light is covered in fertile plains and some small mountains at the tail end of the impressive ranges arcing northeast through the Celestial Crater and the Badlands. Aside from Noctis and Lucia, the capital city of the Kingdom of Light, the largest settlement in the region is the Grand Port of Craig, where the infamous Witchlight Carnival appeared at some point during the Emperor's reign.

Delle Belphine is the only party member known to call Southern Fuckburg home. Catgirl tabaxi are the most populous demographic after automatons in the region, their influence spreading from their original village somewhere in the Kingdom of Light to the gambling mecca of Paws Vegas and eventually Lucia itself, where the Catsuka crime syndicate established an iron grip on the population.

The Seat of the Emperor

Nearly the entire expanse of Fuckburg's northern coast belongs to the Emperor's throne province, a massive area of land larger than the kingdoms of Wood, Fire, and Gold combined. Little is known of this region of the continent.

Geopolitics of Fuckburg

Fuckburg the continent is inextricable from Fuckburg, the Empire; no distinctions are made between the political unit and the landmass. Whether the continent was called something different before the Shadestorm and the rise of the Empire, no one but the Emperor and their artificers know. That the Empire has been ontologically merged with the land and natural resources of the continet has, in all historical cases of settler colonialism, had devastating consequences for the people endemic to the land and the ecosystems they inhabit. The Empire's apparent policy of extractivism under violent fascist governorship of Fuckburg's disparate kingdoms (namely Arbor) has effectively cut itself off from the land even in its own attempt to control and subdue it. This wedge, driven deeply between the Empire's violence towards the land and the people's stewardship of the land, is one of the key factors leading to the fomenting of insurrection and rebellion across Fuckburg, even despite the mass amnesia imposed by the Shadestorm.